Xtreme Hairdooing at the Salon!
by Valkorie
Summary: The X-Men go to the Salon!


Another stab at it:  
  
-----  
  
"Then Jim Bob said to Carol Ann that he wouldn't sleep with her even if she was his second cousin!" They all giggled with feigned horror. This was the gossip bunch. The bell chiming in the front meant there was a customer in the store. No one got up from their stations.  
  
"Well, I heard that Mrs. Burgaw's son was caught in Mr. Johansson's barn with you-know-who!" They gasped and cracked up with cackled laughter. Being the youngest one in the salon by 30-40 years, I didn't have the same knack for idle gossip.  
  
"I'll get it!" I had to yell over the smoker's laughter. No one paid any attention.  
  
As I made my way up to the front desk, I saw the man standing behind it was wearing a purple helmet and a long gray cape. He had a smirk on his face as he was fingering the trimming scissors. "Can I help you, sir?" I asked eyeing him from the middle of the lobby.  
  
"Yes, my dear," he said looking up, still fiddling with the blades. "I need a trim, yet I'm in kind of a bind." He answered with a warm smile and a cultured accent.   
  
"Well, I will try my best to help you, tell me what you need." I answered back, walking behind the counter.  
  
"You see, it's my helmet..."  
  
-----  
  
Meanwhile, back at the X-Mansion:  
  
"Professor!" Jean was stalking the halls, bellowing out for the professor, again. "Professor! Why did you turn your mind off? I need to talk to you!"  
  
"What is it Jean?" The professor wheeled out of the broom closet he was hiding in, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Oh, it's my hair!" She whined, "I thought I could stand to settle with Racy Red, but I just need it to go back to my old Floozy Fuchsia! They ran out at the Stop & Shop so I need to get to my salon, and fast!" She was whining at such a fast pace, she nearly ran out of breath.  
  
"Jean, listen to me carefully..." he motioned her to lean in. "I don't care." And with that, he wheeled down the hall and out of sight, mumbling about whishing he *could* turn off his brain.  
  
"Fine, than I will bring myself!" She yelled after him, folding her arms.  
  
"Where are you going by yourself?" Scott came down the stairs.  
  
"I have to go to the salon, and the professor won't listen to me!" She said, having a tantrum right there in the main lobby.  
  
"Well, I can't have you going anywhere, or doing anything, for that matter, by yourself. I have to go with you."  
  
"Oh, thank you Scott, because, you're right, I can't do or go anywhere with out someone else." She said flinging herself on to Scott.  
  
"Where are you two going?" Wolverine grumbled, coming in through the front door.  
  
"Ooh, hey Wolvie." Her tone suddenly changed to sultry, "we're going to the salon, you want to --" Scott stopped her.  
  
"We're fine *Wolfie*," he mocked. "We were just leaving."  
  
"The salon, eh? I could use a trimming," he said running his hand through his hair, making eyes at Jean.  
  
"You could always use a trimming you over grown flea bag!" Scott was trying a come back he had seen before on TV.  
  
"You just watch it Bub." Wolverine lunged after him, but Jean got in the way.  
  
"Boys! We obviously have a bigger problem on our hands... my hair."  
  
"You guys going to a salon? Can I go?" Rogue walked in.  
  
Jean snapped her head towards Rogue's direction. "Of course not, this is an *adult* trip." The jealously burned in her eyes.  
  
"But, I need them to touch up my stripe." She said twirling it around her finger.  
  
"I thought that was a natural occurrence." Wolverine said.  
  
"Oh, um... uh... Well, it was. I just want to make sure it's even. So, are we going or what?" She said as she nervously ran out the door to jump into the XUV.  
  
-----  
  
"What can I do about your helmet?" I asked. "Besides burn it for you and make sure you never wear anything that ludicrous again?" I mumbled while thumbing through the appointment book.  
  
"I have a problem. Wearing the helmet insures no one will get into my brain," he said, tapping the side of it. "Taking off the helmet leaves me wide open to people who want to know where I am and what I am doing. I can't have anyone knowing I am at a salon to touch up my hair."  
  
"Yes, we can't have that." I said giving him a glance.  
  
"So, I was wondering if you could get one of your girls to come to my place. I have an entire cave made out of the same stuff." He tapped on the helmet again.  
  
"I don't think so, why don't you call Hospice?" I asked, still looking at the appointment book, afraid he was going to use his helmet against me.  
  
"That won't do. You must understand, under no circumstances can I take off this helmet in public!" He was starting to sound upset.  
  
I was sick of it though, was this really my problem? "Then maybe it shouldn't matter to you if your hair is trimmed, should it?" I said, finally looking up and meeting his eyes. Maybe I had stepped too far. He started to tear up.  
  
"I tried to get Toad to do it right, he just kept messing it up and getting slime in it!" He sniffled a few times, wiping tears away from his cheeks. "Damn it!" He yelled, pounding the counter top, trying to regain some composure. "Now I can't even get the helmet off with out my hair ripping off with it! That stupid slime! I'll kill that warty freak!"   
  
Now he was just tweaking out. "Look, look, sir! Please calm down. I will see what I can do!" When someone is wearing a cape, ranting and raving about a Toad cutting his hair in a tiny salon, you fix it, fast. I stepped out back to try to get Mrs. Birch to come out to help me, but there was a loud crash out in front. I spun around to see a red-head leaning over a stand of shampoos she had just knocked over.  
  
"Oopsie," she said as she slowly bent down to pick up the mess, making sure the two guys with her got a nice shot of her ass. The other chick rolled her eyes. The guy with the helmet was sitting at the nail station across the room, watching the whole thing.  
  
"Excuse me, we aren't taking walk-in's right now. Please come another time." I said rushing them out the door.  
  
"I can wait until you aren't busy, I neeeeeed to get my hair done!" The red-head was whining at me. I saw the skunk girl lean into the hairy beast, whispering something and pointing to my earlier problem.  
  
"It's just not possible right now. I can take care of you tomorrow. Just give us a call--"  
  
"That won't be necessary." The problem got up from the nail station and walked towards the group.  
  
"Magneto! What are you doing here?" they all said in unison.  
  
-----  
  
I am trying for a two chapter story. Anyone like it so far? R/R please. 


End file.
